I've been thinking about the comfy places we create recently, like those jeans you’ve lived in for years, they feel easy they may be a bit baggy now, maybe not the most amazing fit but they make you feel safe. Why is that? What is it about an old pair of jeans, some scuffed up trainers or the wonderful hole filled cashmere jumper that makes you feel safe, how can they have so much power? Why does dressing down feel so much safer?
I've been thinking about the comfy places we create recently, like those jeans you’ve lived in for years, they feel easy they may be a bit baggy now maybe not the most amazing fit but they make you feel safe. Why is that? What is it about an old pair of jeans, some scuffed up trainers or the wonderful hole filled cashmere jumper that makes you feel safe, how can they have so much power? Why does dressing down feel so much safer?
I agree that all these things have their place some times we want to just feel comfortable but I’m talking about the times that you can find yourself feeling uncomfortable to step out of these things. Where the thought of putting something else on maybe something a bit more twinkly a little more dressy something fun something you secretly would like to wear make you feel scared and uncomfortable. Words like what will they think or who will they think I think i am may creep into your head. So you pack your desire to try something new to the back of your wardrobe and put on those comfy clothes again so you can carry on feeling safe for the day.
Now this may sound seemingly superficial, but who cares what I wear, what does it matter if I'm having those thoughts & feelings, they are only clothes and yes there is some truth, if you're not bothered truly then that's fine. However if inside there is a secret desire to be more expressed then that is where it matters. What if these feelings you are having are little invitations from yourself to dig a little bit deeper and find out what it really is that's making you feel like you cant step out of your comfort zone. Because whatever the voices in your head say to you I would say there is something else underneath causing this reaction. It can be as simple as being told not to show off when you were a child where a belief was created about expressing yourself as shameful. So maybe its time to change the conversation time to start giving yourself some freedom to express yourself start saying the things you want to be true.
So many times in my life I have stepped out of my comfort zone to the point of internal shaking and every time I can remember the clothes I had picked to help me feel the most inspired expressed version of myself. My natural nature is an introvert/ extrovert a really confusing combination for myself and probably even those close to me. Some times I feel a burning desire to be expressed and out communicating and seeing people then I can switch and I need to be quiet I feel full and I want to retreat to my peace space. Sometimes I feel like the clothes I wear and the things I love can communicate for me, my favourite styles are very feminine things mixed with a bit of swagger or sass metallic leather, cowboy boots work pretty well for me. I suppose they represent my personality well its like a silent language a conversation with out words its so much fun. Clothes can literally hold you through interviews for jobs you really want on romantic dates when your having a hard time at home even whilst your starting a business.
For my interview to the Royal college of Art I was quivering inside sat waiting for my interview I was so out of my comfort zone, popping homeopathic pills for stage fight. Sometimes I have this thing with my dyslexia where words literally disappear from my mind I would go blank, I think Ive even forgotten my name. I had only found out the year before that I was in fact severely dyslexic not totally stupid and that I had an amazing talent for fashion,so getting into the Royal College would have been a a dream come true. In those moments the beautiful soft leather orange Italian leather cow boy boots carried me through. Everyone loved them it was our talking point and I was just fine. I loved them so much I used them in my sketch book.
Comfort zones are everywhere and truthfully right now Im stepping out of mine stepping up talking about my passions. Just a few months ago I felt pretty terrified of writing and posting my inner most thoughts. What will they say, what will they think….tralalala but now Im loving it and I have a new comfort zone to break. Video blogs is my next thing. Then after that there will be something else and on and on.
There are so many ways to help loosen our tight, suffocating grip on those really comfortable places we inhabit like yoga, meditation, fitness, visualisation but one that I think is often forgotten is through our clothes. Clothes are a safe place for us to practice stepping out of our comfort zones, there is nothing better than putting on an outfit you secretly desire even though inside your beating yourself up going out and rocking it, its a great feeling and a really good way to dissolve your blocks……come and join me….give it a go!